Month: April 2021

Part 2 – The Bad

DEREK’S DISCLAIMER:  I am not a medical professional, neither am I giving any medical or legal advice. If you are seeking help from a doctor or an attorney, please consult said professionals.  These are my personal thoughts and feelings on the subjects discussed, and my blog is my own personal experiences and journey with mental imbalance.  Thank you!

Hello, my fellow imbalanceds (I hope it is okay to refer to you that way. Hey, ain’t no shame in our game)!

As promised I am back with another blog post about THE PAST and my thoughts on how dwelling on it can cause mental imbalance.

The last time I checked in with everyone, I was discussing the GOOD past and my opinion on how even dwelling on that too much can create an imbalance. (Please check out my blog post entitled The Past and Its Link to Mental Imbalance.)

Now, onto the “bad” past.

And let’s be honest, this is the WORST kind – the bad past – because this definitely can flood your mind with all sorts of horrific and distorted images (like the one at the top of this page).

I think it goes without saying that consistent dwelling on the “bad” or negative past can be extremely harmful to your mind. For example, I have ALWAYS replayed certain confrontations with people, be it with family or friends or even strangers, where I am constantly reliving it and getting angry all over again over something that occurred yesterday, last week, months ago or even years ago. My brain, for some reason, just won’t let it go. It’s as if I can fix whatever happened eons ago and give it a different outcome, typically an outcome in my favor. But of course, I cannot. It’s the whole “I wish I had said this” or “I wish I had done that” type of thing. I think you all feel me on this one. We have ALL been there.

I do not like conflict of any kind. So, it is not unusual for me to have an instant replay or loop going on in my head all the time over it.

Negative experiences in my life have caused me to do this instant replay. I see the experience in my mind all over again. I see the people involved. I see the images, the faces, the places, the circumstances, all of it. Over and over and over and OVER in my brain until I feel like I am going to fly into a rage or collapse with pure anxiety. It is as if it is happening all over again! It’s awful! So, as you can see, it is NOT doing me any good.

But how does one get unstuck from this? Well, as I suggested in the last post on the good past, I try focusing on the present moment, either whatever I am literally doing at the moment or just the wonderful things I have going on. Also, when I start to go there and relive that bad past, I simply say STOP! Or ENOUGH! And that usually gets me out of it.

Another thing I do is to distract myself. I play my trumpet. I write. I BLOG LOL! I watch TV. Ain’t no shame in my game, as these are some of the things that shake me out of that instant replay. What works best for you??? Feel free to let me know in the comment section below.

Also, starting today, I will be featuring a product on my blog posts. Just simply click the link below. Today’s featured product is a book entitled High: 6 Principles for Guilt-Free Pleasure and Escape by Jodie Gould.

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Thank you for reading this latest post! I will see you all on TUESDAY!!!!

As always,

be mentally WELL!

AFFILIATE DISCLAIMER:  There are products on this page.  By clicking on the links, you will be redirected to that page at no cost to you.  However, I will receive compensation if you purchase something (which I hope you do 😊).

PART 1 – THE GOOD PAST

DEREK’S DISCLAIMER:  I am not a medical professional, neither am I giving any medical or legal advice. If you are seeking help from a doctor or an attorney, please consult said professionals. My blog is my own personal experiences and journey with mental imbalance. Thank you!

Greetings all!

Tonight I am going to delve into … THE PAST! Now, this is probably going to be a long post, because this is such a broad topic. So, there may be multiple parts to this.

I really do believe that the past definitely can influence your present, especially if you are constantly dwelling on it. It can affect your personal relationships, your attitudes, your job, your family, how you move and operate in the world, who you are as a person. And the list, of course, goes on and on. Needless to say, your past can shape who you are currently.

I will be completely honest and admit that I am ALWAYS dwelling on the past, whether it is my good past or my bad past. And yes, it has shaped and molded me into the person I have become. For example, and without going into too much detail, certain experiences from my past have caused me to be much more of a direct person. I am no longer afraid to say no or to question things, whereas in the past I was very afraid to speak up. However, because of negative outcomes from keeping my mouth shut, I realized that it was not serving me at all. So, it was much better for me to stand up for myself and “speak my mind,” so to speak. So, those negative experiences from the past most certainly shaped me today into speaking up when I feel that it is necessary.

But what happens when you get stuck in the “good” past? Now, let me give you a more specific example from “my past.” 🙂

Wayyyyy back in 1981, I was in the 9th grade. The way our school was set up, the 7th, 8th and 9th graders were all grouped together at the same school, and the 10th, 11th and 12th graders were at the high school. So, in my county in North Carolina – Anson County – that’s the way it was. The freshman 9th graders were not placed with the sophomores, juniors and seniors, the way it is done now.

Now, the most driving force and great source of joy and happiness for me that year was the BAND!!! This will have to later be a separate post in and of itself, because there is MUCH to highlight there. But I will just summarize and say that my band experiences that year were beyond AMAZING!!! We were the talk of Anson County and even beyond. Our marching band signature song was Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust,” and that entire year EVERYONE wanted to hear us play that song, even when we were no longer in marching season!

We did all of our normal concert performances – the Christmas and Spring concerts, etc. And we also did Contest, or it is probably referred to now as Festival, where you are competing against other groups. Well, we went and received a SUPERIOR, the HIGHEST ranking!!!

We didn’t stop there. We performed at the Country Club, a couple of times, which was a HUGE deal and honor!

But wait. The REALLY big, huge deal came in 1982 when our beloved band director, Mr. Kelly (May he Rest in Musical Peace) decided that we should go to the 1982 World’s Fair then in Knoxville, Tennessee. So, we raised the necessary money by selling BBQ plates, and off we went. Unfortunately, we didn’t place, and we were EXTREMELY upset and sad over it, but Mr. Kelly offered us the best pep talk ever and everything was fine after that.

However, all good things must come to an end. And thus, my 9th grade year was officially over following the World’s Fair since we went in June of 1982, the 10th through the 12th. I even remember the dates!!! LOL And afterward, I honestly felt depressed when I look back on it. It was over. It was gone. And no offense to my other beloved band director, Mr. Davis, from both my 8th grade and my sophomore through graduation from high school, it was just – well, lackluster. We didn’t do any of those things we did when we were in the 9th grade. Sure, we did the normal parades and concerts and we even went to the Shrine Bowl, and I did have a lot of fun, but it just wasn’t the same.

And even many, MANY years after that as an adult I would often look back fondly on those years with great nostalgia and longing. I was OBSESSED with being in that band. It was the GREATEST moment of my life!!! And all the other great moments following didn’t seem to be as great as my time in the 9th grade band.

So, to tie it all together, I dwelled on this past all. The. Time. It was a good past, but is it healthy to even dwell so much on something wonderful that happened in your life? To be honest, I don’t know. I suppose it can be unhealthy in a way, because you are not focused on the present, which is something I am learning more and more from the New Age gurus LOL

I think it is okay to revisit that good past from time to time, but not to dwell on it, because you ARE missing out on the potential good things happening in your life in the here and now. I spent sooooo much time focused on this wonderful part of my past, that I did lose sight of the other wonderful things around me. Fortunately, I went on to some other WONDERFUL band experiences and other experiences, overall, in my life! I still look back fondly (as I just did LOL), but it is no longer the focal point of my existence.

Well, this is getting long. So, we will have to continue this on FRIDAY!! Where I will then dive a bit more into the BAD or NEGATIVE past!!! Boo!! Feel free to comment below. And thanks for listening!

Stay mentally well,

Derek