Hello, everyone! I hope all of you are well!!
This week’s topic is one, I am very sure, all of you have dealt with at some point in your working lives. Perhaps you are currently dealing with it.
On the job, there is always that one person (or persons) who think they know it all. Or who bring the party down with negative comments. They think they’re being funny, but they are mean and sarcastic.
Or that one person (or persons) who is “intimidating.” Or unapproachable or just plain rude.
You know the type.
Well, it is time to discuss these horrid people and figure out how to deal with them effectively.
I have been working steadily since 1985, after I graduated low school. I started out working, what was referred to as, work-study jobs when I was in college, and overall it was a very pleasant and groovy experience for me. The people I worked for and with, were super nice.
However, when I started my first “real” part-time job off campus in 1989 at A Southern Season, it quickly became a different story.
There was one particular character who ALWAYS had some smart-ass comment to make, and normally it was directed towards me. And it turns out, he was a gay man!! Well, that explains a lot right there.
And believe me, it didn’t stop with him on other jobs.
I encountered characters, over the years, who were just downright mean.
I won’t name names or corporations (well, I guess I did above – ha!). Just give some very basics. SO, GET READY!!!
And perhaps you have encountered some of these same types.
The Religious Bitch
Picture it. Durham, N.C. A tiny paper and products store, an offshoot of a much bigger conglomeration.
She was tall, thin and bony and very mouthy when it came to proclaiming her Christianity. Everything was of the Devil, including and especially Halloween. One day, she even accused the Devil of stealing her keys. 😂🤣
She once said to me that if she had anything to say to me, she’d say it to my face. And she said it very rudely. Gee, how Christian of her. (Rolling my eyes.) This was my boss.
Teaching SUCKS!!!
My principal was a nightmare. The kids were a nightmare. Enough said.
The principal HATED me for some reason. He even once tried to fight me. Literally.
He was VERY unapproachable, to say the least.
Administrative Assistant Really Means Admini Ass
Although she wasn’t my overall boss, she was in charge of our department, and we were administrative assistants. Essentially, we were gophers and the pee-ons for everyone else in the company, particularly the sales department.
She was a miserable person who, at that time, was living SEXUALLY with her first cousin. Yep. You heard me right.
She was horrible, as she was always correcting me and the other girl who worked in the department, and over trivial stuff.
So, Screaming and Shouting Gets You What You Want on the Job!
Ah yes, the military company I worked for. One of my coworkers was living with a woman who already had four children by four different men. I. Kid. You. Not. While employed there, he ended up getting her pregnant, too. Big surprise there.
But he was a very disturbed individual with a LOT of mental issues. It was not unusual for him to scream at our boss, who was also quite the toxic individual himself. Our boss was an idiot who relied heavily upon his employees, as he didn’t know what the KCUF he was doing.
Yet he considered himself an “entrepreneur” and had a lot of money. Entre-manure is more like it.
Anyway, this other person screamed at me, and of course I screamed back. 😂😁😁😁😂🤣
Which by the way, if the leadership is weak, then 9 will get you 10, the rest of the company is, too. Please see the next example.
This is Supposed to Be a Fun Job. NOT!!!
Which brings me to the LAST (and hopefully last) toxic job of my life. Because I absolutely WILL NOT return to the hot mess I have described above.
I used to work for a place that was designed for fun, yet it was anything but.
There was one character who was just plain AWFUL to everyone. This lady had been there longer than anyone at that point and, therefore, she thought she was deserving of all the respect in the world. She felt that she was royalty, THE Queen Bee. And that everything should go her way or else the highway, and the rest of us should just bow down. And when it didn’t and we didn’t, she would complain to our boss (who by the way was very weak and ineffectual, as I described above). This woman would say VERY mean, condescending and unprofessional things in front of everyone.
She was the epitome of a bully.
I had a couple of run-ins with this person, myself, and it was brutal. I remember one time, in front of everyone, including our boss, I shut this person up quickly and told them “you can sit there and roll your eyes at me all you want to, I don’t care.”
All in all, this person who was also the oldest employee in our little group, acted the most childishly. She had to have her way at EVERY turn.
However, I hear that TPTB eventually fired this person. LOLOLOL
And a lot of people finally had had enough and left.
Oh. And don’t get me started on the people who tried to tell me that I didn’t want to be there. Well, first of all, neither did you.
Secondly, it’s none of your business.
And third and finally, when you are in a toxic environment, HELL NO you don’t want to be there! Why would you?? Your bad and negative energy is affecting me and others. Because I am here to tell you, that when you are on a job that respects you and wants you there and listens to you, you bring your very best.
I am happily in such an environment, where YOU are valued. And the higher ups WANT you there, and the leadership is VERY strong. And everyone is actually NICE!!! And it isn’t gossipy.
However, when you are in a despicable and even hostile work environment, where people are miserable and try to foist that misery upon you, and then blame you, you don’t care. No, you don’t want to be there. Tell me I’m wrong?
From the above scenarios, I hope you got the message.
And overall, you do NOT have to put up with this type of behavior. Ever.
On my current job, fortunately we don’t have these types of personalities. There are a couple of people who try to be bossy sometimes, but only a couple. However, the situation has been addressed, and the offenders have been dealt with.
So, if you’ve got a strong support network at work, utilize it. Let someone know. Complain. Hell, it is better than putting up with it. You don’t have to suffer in silence.
If you have a strong HR department, go to them!
Now, speaking of one of the current coworkers who received a little lecture, this brings me to another point that another coworker brought to my attention.
It was explained that this person “is just that way.” Well, the former coworker I was discussing at the so-called fun place, well that was the explanation for their behaviour, too. “That is just how they are.” And other employees who were, I am quite sure afraid of this person, enabled them. Big time.
Okay. So, I cry fowl (and bullshit) over the “that may be how you are in your own personal life,” but you don’t have to be an asshole on the job. There. I said it.
So, the current coworker and friend asked “why does everyone else have to cater to and bow down to someone else because that is the way they are?”
Good question. And I say, you don’t.
I would suggest calmly telling the offender, “I would like to talk to you for a minute.” Or “may I have a minute of your time? There is something I wish to discuss with you.” And then in the most gentle way possible, without anger (because I used to be dripping in anger like a poisoned dart – 😂😂), tell the person the problem. I actually just did this with one of my bosses!
Please check out this very insightful video on how to effectively deal with workplace bullies and nasty coworkers. There are actually TONS of videos like this on YouTube. Click on the link below:
Don’t put up with workplace bullies. It isn’t your fault that they don’t have a life and you do, because normally that’s where the problem is. They don’t have any real power in their personal lives, so they feel they can take it out on you in the workplace and on the job.
As I bring this post to a close, remember that we are not on our jobs to be belittled, aggravated, bossed around, pushed around, talked down to, walked all over or bullied. Hell no!! Advocate for yourself!! We are there to do a job. And it is understandable that everyone has a bad day every now and then. But don’t take it out on someone else.
Oh and sexual harassment of ANY kind, is NEVER to be tolerated whatsoever!!!!
As the above video states, in the end, you cannot change another person, which is also extremely important to remember.
A point to consider is that if you cannot cope with that annoying, toxic coworker and you need to speak with a professional, then online therapy may be the way to go. You can do this in the comfort of your own home without having to get in traffic to drive to an office. Check it out by clicking on the link below:
Thank you once again for reading. I greatly appreciate the support. I really, really do. Please keep reading! And until the next time, please be safe and mentally well!!
DEREK’S DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional, neither am I giving any medical or legal advice. If you are seeking help from a doctor or an attorney, please consult said professionals. These are my personal thoughts and feelings on the subjects discussed, and my blog is my own personal experiences and journey with mental imbalance. Thanking you in advance!
I do not own the copyright to any songs, videos, or photos listed here.
AFFILIATE DISCLAIMER: There are products on this page. By clicking on the links, you will be redirected to that page at no cost to you. However, I will receive compensation if you purchase something (which I hope you do 😊).
