Hello, all. I am back with another potentially controversial and hot topic.
Religious Guilt. And leaving it behind.
Other keywords: Religious trauma. Religious abuse.
For starters, please click on the banner below to witness my religious indoctrination in a cult.
It has been my personal experience with religion, that EVERYTHING is a sin. We are ALL sinners, according to the Christian Bible, and “we have come short of the glory of God,” apparently by merely existing.
In other words, MY interpretation (and probably the interpretation of others) is that we are all horrible, bad people who do not deserve anything but the back of God’s hand. There. Did I describe it correctly?
As religious people, we (may) feel that we are worthless in the eyes of God, and that HE is the only way to redeem us. Well, this is what the Bible and other religions teach us. However, for some people it turns into this ingrained belief that we are nothing, and as stated above despicable, guilty, and worthless human beings. People do not understand that this really can negatively affect your self-esteem, self worth and psyche.
Let’s talk about those religious individuals and their view of the world. Nine times out of 10, their purview of the world through their religious lens is that the world is sinful, bad and that as a religious person you are not to partake of ANYTHING of this world, else you will be damned for eternity. Oh so there’s the fear element, as well.
The shame, the guilt, and the condemnation.
My experience has been that there are many “religious” people who are just downright mean and nasty. They weaponize religion and think that’s their golden ticket to heaven. And truthfully, nobody’s got time for all that anymore.
And then you leave said religion, and the GUILT follows you. Let me tell you it has taken me DECADES to free myself of the voices of guilt ingrained in me, not only from my experiences in that nasty church I attended in college, but also of my own grandmother’s voice echoing in my brain.
“If you are disobedient, God’ll shorten your days.”
“Give the Lord some of your time.”
She wanted me to (continue to) go to church once I hit Carolina’s campus. And that is what led me into the cult. Again, please see above.
Now. What do I actually mean by religious guilt?
I define it as being a part of a particular religion in which you experience feelings of guilt towards everything from sexuality to money to just simply being a human being. However, your particular religion speaks against whatever you may just be feeling guilty over.
The best example, I think, is being gay. Homosexuality. There are numerous people who are religious AND gay, and they experience such feelings of guilt over their NORMAL sexual orientation. After all, the Bible (and other religious books) have horrendous things to say about homosexuality, none of them good or positive.
This religious guilt is definitely spread across most religions. When I think of those religions where people experience the highest feelings of religious guilt (or from now on I will refer to it as RG) are Catholics and Christians. Oh, and those individuals who have kicked their religions to the curb. I must include them, as I will be speaking about those people in a minute. I’m one of them by the way.
As I said earlier, I really do believe that the highest feelings of RG center around sexuality and/or sexual orientation.
After all, basically all religions say that in order to engage in sexual intercourse or any form of sexual activity at all, you must be MARRIED. And that sex must be between a MAN and a WOMAN. Whatever.
So, even the str8s don’t get a break where sexuality is concerned, that is if they are religious. They must wait until marriage, and certainly a lot of religious females hold onto their virginity until then.
Whatever you choose to do with your body is most certainly your business. And I would never tell anyone to ‘screw your religion and go out and be a whore.’ No. How you feel is how you feel. That’s your personal right and your personal choice.
And perhaps if certain religions loosened up on sexual activity, perhaps there wouldn’t be such high incidences of pastors and preachers and PRIESTS engaging in sexual activity with CHILDREN!!!
But I will say this. Regardless of what religious book is out there (because keep in mind, at the end of the day it was really written by a man, though the idea is it is by the inspiration of God) – anyway, regardless of what the books say and the scriptures and the religion, sexuality is actually a very basic and NORMAL thing. And my little secular pea brain always thought, what is the big deal to engage in sexual activity? As long as it is between two consenting adults (or more), no one is being hurt or forced, then it is all right. These bodies were built for pleasure.
And then there’s abortion. Uh. Oh. Here. We. Go.
My opinion on abortion, for what it’s worth is IT’S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS AND THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD STAY OUT IT!
I also wrote a rather lengthy post on the striking down of Roe v. Wade. No doubt the religious fanatics were happy over that one. However, I really don’t think they understand what they have done. They have placed a great number of women’s health in jeopardy.
I would venture a guess that all religions feel the same about abortion: That it is a no no and a sin. Murder is one of the keywords surrounding the issue of abortion. Many people think it is murder. I do not because the embryo cannot be viable outside of the woman’s body.
Also, you don’t know the reason why a woman makes the decision to terminate her pregnancy. If I were a bio female, and I was pregnant, I don’t know if I could make that decision. But that is how I THINK I would feel about it. And there are the circumstances surrounding the reason why a woman makes that choice. What may be right for me, may not be right for someone else, and vice versa.
However, religion could play a huge factor in a woman’s decision as to whether or not she is going to end her pregnancy.
More of that guilt.
Moolah. MONEY!!
Because of my financial situation, I sometimes revert to the old mindset of tithing, or NOT tithing, as the reason why I’m money challenged all the time.
I do not tithe to any church. However, it occurred to me, that instead of sending my money to a church, why don’t I start giving to charities? Give to people who REALLY need it. And I have started that, and I have seen some little miracles surrounding my money!
The tithing thing stuck with me for a long time. I have heard from MANY preachers “if you don’t tithe your money and give your 10%, you will be broke!”
That isn’t true. I believe that when “you give, you receive.” The concept that a lot of churches use is WRONG, in my opinion. Money is energy and on an endless loop. It is the cycle of giving. However, I do believe man tainted it with HIS interpretation with regard to religion.
Again, I don’t wish to tell anyone what to believe or what to do with their money.
I QUIT!!
The RG, around those of us who quit that mess, can be overwhelming. And I say it, because imo religion is a MESS!!
Being involved with United Christian Fellowship, when I was in college, nearly drove me insane. The constant having to watch what I say and do, and to attend church all the time and the praying in church early in the morning, which was a requirement if you were going to join the praise band, which I did on both trumpet AND clarinet.
But it was the not being able to watch secular TV and yes, particularly my soaps between 1985 and 1987, or listen to secular music, that truly caused me to go off the deep end. I literally started hearing voices, (well, more like intrusive thoughts, which is the reason why I started this blog).
I do not believe I am schizophrenic, neither do I suffer from hallucinations, and I do believe this cult experience set my OCD, which I still struggle with today, into HIGH gear!!
I felt TREMENDOUS guilt during my time in the cult when I would purchase secular music, listen to it in secret, and then throw it away! That is how messed up I was! I was roommates then with my former bestie Charles, who was also in the cult. So, I couldn’t let him know what I was up to. Ugh! I shudder when I think back to all of that.
I felt horrible about myself. I couldn’t do ANYTHING that came natural to me, and yes, that would include masturbation. There. I said it.
And to have a gay thought, oh forget that!
Fast forward to much later in my life many years after the cult, some of my thoughts included:
‘God doesn’t like me.’
‘He wants me to suffer.’
‘Things will never change for me for the better because I left the church.’
And hearing from certain preachers, things like:
‘All dreams are not of God.’ Well, I felt that was speaking about my acting and writing.
‘God is here to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.’
And there was the tithing, money thing. I believed that because I wasn’t tithing to a particular church was the reason why I was poor all the time.
And let me not forget when I returned to school for medical transcription and medical billing and coding. In my medical billing and coding class, I UNFORTUNATELY ended up in a class with all BLACK WOMEN. It was a small class, but the thing is that all of them were CHRISTIANS. And they claimed that they were having church rather than having class, which was highly inappropriate. And I should have said something. I should have left.
And my little friend Katrina who would say “I’m only the messenger” whenever she would basically speak against something we should not be doing. For example, when I told her I was a playwright, she told me one time that I should be writing only “Christian plays!” And once again, I felt guilty because I wasn’t!!
But the bitch was actually fucking her boyfriend, and they WERE NOT married! Bitch, bye!
All of the above was just MESSED UP!!!
So, in essence, I have NOTHING good to say about religion!
I am not knocking religion (okay, maybe just a little). Hahaha! All I will say is that as far as I’m concerned, religion should make you a BETTER person. You should not be judgmental. You should not be in the habit of condemning people, but accepting people for who they are. And above and beyond all else, you should display kindness ALWAYS and be helpful to others.
And your religion should NOT be used as a weapon against others. What do I mean by that? Using YOUR religion to make others feel guilty or to condemn them or make them feel bad.
If God is THAT concerned with me masturbating, listening to secular music, and watching secular television programs – and considering the truly evil things that go on across the globe, such as child abuse, politicians stealing from us, deranged presidential candidates, rape, murder, wars – yet He is more concerned over what little Derek is doing, that’s a problem. I am NOT the big bad wolf, regardless of what religion I may profess!
Besides, if you need a religion to be a good person, then maybe your religion isn’t as rock solid as you may think. I take that back. Maybe YOU are not as rock solid as you think. You don’t need a particular religion to know right from wrong. But I suppose you think you need one to get into heaven. Chirp. Chirp. Cricket. Cricket.
I think one of the ways to escape RG is through therapy. I know. I know. The answer to EVERYTHING. But you need an outside ear to help you navigate the choppy waters of either feeling that guilt within your said religion or from leaving that religion altogether.
First of all, you are not a bad person. You are a HUMAN. However, a great number of religions ask you to act as if you are superhuman. We are all fallible. We all make mistakes. But you learn from them and move on. Again, doesn’t make you a bad human.
Someone once told me “humans are messy.” Yes. We are. Regardless of who are you, who you think you are, and who you proclaim to be. And most certainly what religion you may profess.
Before you exit, please stop by my Derek Store!!
That’s it for today. Please return next time when I discuss weaponized incompetence. You’re probably asking WTH is that? Well, you’ll have to stay tuned to find out. Until then, please be safe and mentally well!
DEREK’S DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional, neither am I giving any medical or legal advice. If you are seeking help from a doctor or an attorney, please consult said professionals. These are my personal thoughts and feelings on the subjects discussed, and my blog is my own personal experiences and journey with mental imbalance. Thanking you in advance!
I do not own the copyright to any songs or videos listed here.
AFFILIATE DISCLAIMER: There are products on this page. By clicking on the links, you will be redirected to that page at no cost to you. However, I will receive compensation if you purchase something (which I hope you do 😊).
Sources:
