DEREK’S DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional, neither am I giving any medical or legal advice. If you are seeking help from a doctor or an attorney, please consult said professionals. These are my personal thoughts and feelings on the subjects discussed, and my blog is my own personal experiences and journey with mental imbalance. Thanking you in advance!
DEREK’S 2ND DISCLAIMER: This post is about feelings – yes THAT icky word – and the effect on one’s mental health related to the subject above. This post is NOT designed to be a political post. So, please refrain from making such comments and from arguing. If you are going to comment, keep it to about how the last four years made you feel, please. Thank you!
Welcome back, my fellow bent minders! Sit back for another post from yours truly. This one is going to be a doozy.
First of all, I want to say that I really had no intentions of going political, because we have had plenty of that mess lately to last a lifetime. However, I am writing this on the advice of a very close friend, who said how the past four years of a certain administration created depression in a lot — and I do mean A LOT — of people!!
This good friend mentioned former First Lady Michelle Obama and how she revealed during her podcast that she experienced low-grade depression during the pandemic, and mentioned the racial strife and the former administration as factors contributing to her depression as well. Here is a link to the article below:
https://www.healthline.com/health-news/michelle-obama-talks-low-grade-depression-during-the-pandemic
So, let’s dive into these feelings. “Nothing more than feelings.”
The Shock
Going back to that fateful night on Tuesday, November 8, 2016, (and believe me, I am literally filled with disgust right now remembering it), just like everyone else that I know and over 65,000,000 other people, the shock of that “person” “winning” the election was unbelievable. We just could NOT believe that after winning the popular vote, Hillary Clinton was not named the 45th President of the United States, which would have made her the first woman President in the history of this country. The disbelief was unreal. It was so bad that even my then-roommate didn’t go to work the next day and stayed in bed pretty much all day. That is how shocking it was.
The Disbelief
I truly felt that the event didn’t happen, that it was all a bad dream. For a brief moment, I really did think that it was a colossal joke. Then when it began to sink in, that is when the disappointment hit me.
The Disappointment
Needless to say the disappointment that we, 65,000,000-plus people, felt was just impalpable. My main disappointment was in this country, actually. How in the world could this have happened? How could this country have made such a horrible mistake? In my opinion, the Electoral College is a joke. I mean, we had seen this before in the 2000 Presidential Election between George W. Bush and Al Gore, where Al Gore actually won over 500,000 more popular votes than George W. had.
The Anger
The disappointment eventually led to my pure anger and rage over the outcome of that election and in this country itself. My mind turned over and over and over and over again over the situation until I really got pissed. And I know a lot of people did, too. This is what I felt the most, not any sort of real depression. I was angry with this country. I was angry with that administration. And I was very, very, VERY angry with the nearly 63,000,000 people who voted for that monstrosity. And some of those 63,000,000 people were people I knew.
The Fear
Then came the fear. Why? Because this country began to resemble a dystopian society with its “The Handmaid’s Tale” and “1984” – like, unfolding drama. It really started to resemble both, as well as other horrific movies and novels of the same theme. The rise of fascism was disgusting and frightening. The racism that was uncovered (rather that was uncorked yet again) was mindboggling. It was a very bad time warp as America began to travel backwards in time to some of the worst times in this country.
Hispanics were targeted. (Build the wall bullshit.)
Homophobia. Nothing new, but there was the fear of marriage equality being overturned.
Transphobia was on the rise.
The shootings and murders of black people by the police. George Floyd. Breonna Taylor. Ahmaud Arbery to name a very small few. Yes. SAY THEIR NAMES!!!
The rise of the KKK and white nationalism and Neo-Nazism.
Eventually, I became fearful of even leaving my house. What if I was shot by the police over something maybe as simple as speeding?
What if I encountered a racist at the grocery story wearing one of those red hats?
I really began to fear that this WAS the end of the world, that Hitler was alive yet again, and that one day soon I would find myself in a concentration camp.
Then came the pandemic of 2020. The pandemic itself was bad enough, but the handling of it by the former administration was despicable to say the least. Stating that it was a hoax to keep that occupant in the White House (OITWH) from being elected. Then it was like – “Oh. It will be gone by April.” Then it was by the summertime. And then much later, it was revealed that the OITWH knew about it from the beginning!!!! It was appalling!! The lies! The deception!
Anyway, you could feel the fear rising in your throat and seeping and creeping into your brain. It would just take over your entire body and soul. Again, I was in literal fear for my life. Fear of the police. Fear of the newly emboldened racists. Fear of dying in a pandemic, the likes of which we had NEVER seen in our lifetime. (Move over 1918 with its Spanish Flu.) I, myself, contracted it back in January of this year and didn’t even know I had it. It was two weeks of pure agony. I was one of the lucky ones, though. However, hundreds of thousands of other people were not so lucky, succumbing to this dreadful scourge. So, there was that fear of catching it and dying from it.
And we cannot forget the economic side of things as the country was shut down. People lost their jobs, and you were left wondering if you were going to be next. My former roommate lost his job almost immediately, and was unemployed during the entire pandemic!! It was so bad for him, that he turned (or returned, rather) to meth.
The Depression
I would just like to say that I was one of the fortunate ones. I can honestly say I did not feel depressed during the past four years. I don’t get depressed, per se. Just maybe a little down, and that is rare. I always have something to pick me up – like my writing. And DEFINITELY music is a great pick-me-up. However, I know there are LOTS of people who are not so lucky. And again, former First Lady Michelle Obama admitted she was one of those who felt a little depressed during this time.
After describing all that I did above, I can imagine how you would get depressed during these past four years. That feeling of hopelessness and sadness and fatigue and despair, and just wondering if you will EVER get out of this. This is why when someone says they are depressed, I take that VERY seriously. You never know what someone is going through or how they are feeling or how something is affecting them. From what I understand, it is no joke. And it can seem that there is no end in sight.
But then something wonderful and almost magical happened …
The Relief
The 2020 Presidential Election happened, and we got a new President!!! The current administration is such a HUGE relief!! It was like an extremely heavy burden was lifted off of all of us!!! That collective sigh of relief. Being able to breathe again. But there was tension leading up to Inauguration Day 2021 with its disgusting January 6 insurrection and the lies that the election was stolen from that “person.” And there was the further tension that something awful would happen on Inauguration Day 2021, but it didn’t.
I know there is plenty of work that still needs to be done, and this current administration certainly has its work cut out for it. Because as we know, there are still awful things brewing. But I still feel a great sense of relief and hope.
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Well, that’s all I have for today, my friends. In the meantime and as always, be well!! And see ya Tuesday!
AFFILIATE DISCLAIMER: There are products on this page. By clicking on the links, you will be redirected to that page at no cost to you. However, I will receive compensation if you purchase something (which I hope you do 😊).
Sources:
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2016_United_States_presidential_election
- https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/presidential-election-al-gore-george-bush-too-close-to-call
2 replies on “The Last 4 Years Spent in Pure Hell!!!!”
The day after 45 was elected, I received a call from a female friend in Ohio. She was sobbing uncontrollably. Once I got her to calm down, she divulged that she had been raped by a very prominent man and that he got away w it because of his connections & power. And then, when America put a known abuser of women into office, it was too much for her to handle. She has since struggled w severe depression.
For myself, I went through all the stages mentioned & landed right about where Michelle Obama did. I had never had depression in my life until the last 4 years, but now was suffering from a low grade depression. I’m still working on it.
First of all, I am TRULY sorry to hear about your friend. I can only imagine the pain and the horror and sadness she felt when that THING was elected fake president. This is something that shouldn’t have happened. I am glad that you were there for her. And you shouldn’t have had to go through any form of low-grade depression, either, as a result of this horror show. Big hugz to you both! And know that you weren’t the only ones.