Welcome back, my dear friends and readers! I do hope this New Year is going well for you thus far.
One of the things that has always plagued me my entire life is fear of rejection, something I KNOW a lot of us have dealt with or perhaps are currently dealing with.
I call it being rejected and dejected.
When you put yourself out there at an early age and then find that people either laugh at you or reject or make fun of you, it is very easy to climb back into your shell and not do anything at all.
And it most certainly is no barrel of laughs when it happens to us in adulthood.
This can apply to everything under the sun from a special talent you have.
To someone you are attracted to.
And it hurts like heck to not be a part of something or someone.
And it hurts like a prickly porcupine when you want something – or someone – and you are turned down. You don’t get that job. Or that hot and potential suitor. Or an audition if you are an actor or singer for a part you really and truly want. Etc. Etc. and Etc.
Rejection is UNFORTUNATELY a part of life. And some ways it can be a good thing.
But when you feel hurt or depressed from it, it’s the pits.
And when it affects your overall self-esteem and mental wellbeing, then that’s the time to evaluate things.
Again, rejection itself actually is a normal thing. Well, not if you feel that way as a child. Totally different.
But as adults, it is definitely going to happen. But it is how we handle it that makes the difference. Are we going to move on and not let it bother us? Or are we going to sink into a deep hole of feeling not just rejected, but feeling worthless?
Will the rejection keep us from trying again?
That is how I feel about the rejection I have experienced in my life, particularly with regard to romantic relationships. I just didn’t want to try anymore. I was afraid to put myself out there. I suffered from the “why bothers.”
Why bother when I am going to be rejected anyway?
Why bother when I am going to lose?
Why bother when I am only going to be told no anyway and not get what I want? Again.
Surface level rejections can most certainly turn into a deep, festering wound of past rejections that linger over time.
Why do we feel rejected? Why do we feel bad about it? I think because we think it is a reflection on us, and that we feel we are not good enough!!!
The times I have been rejected or felt rejected, it carried itself over to later things and/or events in my life, leading me to give up before I even start.
So, yes I allowed the past rejections to rob me of trying again.
I also started feeling that everybody else can have something, but apparently not me.
But you know what I say now? Detach. Go for it anyway if you feel that strongly about something. And never allow it to be a reflection of you or your worth.
In 2022, I faced not one, but TWO romantic rejections. The first was at the beginning of 2022, and someone I had dated 13 years prior who came back into my life. And yes, I think it was during a mercury retrograde, and I’m just going to leave that right there.
The second occurred at the end of 2022, when after initially meeting someone for coffee, he told me right then and there that there wasn’t a sexual spark. Well, I never!! I wasted a trip out, especially when I was going to leave anyway when I thought he had stood me up!
Then I remembered what someone told me once that rejection means not you, not at this time. I suppose that lessens the blow a bit.
Or you can look at rejection as a good thing, that perhaps the thing you want isn’t good for you after all.
In the above two “romantic” situations, I now consider it a good thing. 😊
In summary, the way I look at rejection now is – “okay. Next?” If this one doesn’t work out, let me try the next thing and the next thing and so on and so forth. I will no longer allow it to rob me of my self worth.
And I most certainly will not allow it to stop me from going after I want!
Rejection of any kind on any level flippin’ sucks. But remember, if you feel that you cannot cope or need to speak with a professional, then online therapy may be the way to go. You can do this in the comfort of your own home without having to get in traffic to drive to an office. Check it out by clicking on the link below:
That’s it, my darlings. Thank you for reading. I greatly appreciate it. And I shall see you soon. But until then, please be safe and mentally well!!
DEREK’S DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional, neither am I giving any medical or legal advice. If you are seeking help from a doctor or an attorney, please consult said professionals. These are my personal thoughts and feelings on the subjects discussed, and my blog is my own personal experiences and journey with mental imbalance. Thanking you in advance!
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