Welcome back, my dear friends and readers!!! We are just coming off yet another Pride Month. And I do hope yours was FANTABULOUS!!
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With the decks constantly stacked against us, especially where SCOTUS rulings and conservative Christians STILL attacking us, now more than ever, the LGBTQ+ community, particularly gay men need to come together to fight!
And considering last Friday when I posted my Stonewall/Marsha P. Johnson post, SCOTUS pulled a fast one and basically said it was okay for businesses to discriminate against the LGBTQ+ community based on religion. And on the final day of Pride!!! 😡😡😡
But anyway. I suppose when I came out, I expected it to be one big, grand GAY party. Lots of men, lots of sex, lots of love, and lots of support.
Um but that didn’t happen, not quite like that anyway.
I especially expected an immediate boyfriend, too. Definitely didn’t work out that way at first. Sure I most certainly have had my fair share of lovers and dates and boyfriends, but the support, though, that’s another thing.
There is nothing like having your “sisters” around you. And if you don’t know the gay lingo, ‘sister’ refers to your closest gay brothers. These are cisgender gay men. Just like when I say someone is “family,” that means they are gay, just like me/us.
And I have close “sisters” and gay friendships, plenty of those. But it seems, for example, when I am on certain gay platforms, okay like social media, the men are not supportive at all. Unless you look a certain way. In other words, if you work out in a gym daily, or the new thing is gray-haired gay men, and now long, Santa Claus-bearded gay men and Silverdaddies, etc., you’re in.
You receive all sorts of accolades related to LOOKS.
And before we go any further, this is NOT a crybaby post about how I don’t get any attention, because I get PLENTY of attention from men, thank you very much.
And I am trying not to make blanket statements. Forgive me if I do.
But I am talking about support that goes deeper than your looks or sex. I am talking about support where you need it most – and no not financially – but simply emotionally.
I will take that one gay group that I USED to belong to, as an example. Gay men would post innocent questions in the group, and I don’t believe they were seeking the typical validation. However, there were several very caustic and downright mean comments thrown at them.
And that wasn’t the first time I had seen rude comments like that.
I, myself, fell victim to it once when I posted a joking comment towards one of my gay friends also on this particular site. And someone I didn’t know, TRIED to make a mean comment to me. I simply laughed. Literally. 😂
And it isn’t just on social media or online forums.
We tear each other down, whether it is over looks, the gym, diet, our choice in fashion, our choice in dating.
And I do hope jealousy is not a factor.
And don’t get me started on the little subgroups I have noticed popping up over the DECADES since I’ve been out.
The bears. The twinks. The gym bunnies. The preppies. The chubby guys. The chubby chasers. The over 60 group. The under 60 group. The A-lister gays. And so on, and so forth.
It’s like this little hierarchy or categories we as gay men find ourselves in.
And honorable mention to gay men who find their loves and/or husbands. They act like no one else exists!
I am fortunate, because I pretty much stay off to myself these days! 😂😂😂
And when I do, I hang out with a group of great gay guys. But just like my dearly, departed friend Charles B. Enzor used to say – “keep it light and airy.” And I do.
And I think I see what Charles really meant now. Perhaps, the “keep it light and airy” attitude is to protect yourself.
But again, I am fortunate because there are a couple of gay men I know who are in my corner. And I am in theirs.
I do feel, though, like as a group overall, we as gay men can support each other more.
After all, once you leave the bars and the drinks behind, will your gay peeps really have your back if something horrible happens in your life? Think about it.
And the same applies across the board: Black people, women, lesbians, and the list goes on and on. We can ALL do better!
And gay men, remember we are more than our bank accounts, gym memberships, and penis size. We have a LOT to offer this world, and I really do believe this world truly needs us. And we are definitely STRONG ENOUGH!!!
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Thank you once again for stopping by. Until the next time and in the meantime, as always, please be safe and mentally well!
DEREK’S DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional, neither am I giving any medical or legal advice. If you are seeking help from a doctor or an attorney, please consult said professionals. These are my personal thoughts and feelings on the subjects discussed, and my blog is my own personal experiences and journey with mental imbalance. Thanking you in advance!
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