Categories
mental health and well-being

When Do I Need to Seek Therapy?

DEREK’S DISCLAIMERI am not a medical professional, neither am I giving any medical or legal advice. If you are seeking help from a doctor or an attorney, please consult said professionals.  These are my personal thoughts and feelings on the subjects discussed, and my blog is my own personal experiences and journey with mental imbalance.  Thanking you in advance!

Welcome back, my friends! Today we are going to explore when it is time to seek therapy when things are getting too tough for you to handle. And remember, there is no shame in our game!

They are just WORDS!

Let me start by saying that the terms “psychiatrist” or “psychologist” or even “therapist” may sound scary or even shameful to a lot of people, particularly if there is a suggestion that one needs to seek professional help. I say that these are just WORDS, but it is understandable, again, that these words can be triggering to some. In other words, people may take offense or even be frightened at the thought of seeing someone for professional help. So, look at it as simply going to talk to someone about your problems. Just you and that professional who is there to help, listen, and guide you. Not tell you what to do, but simply provide some tools to help you with whatever you are going through.

I was talking with a friend the other day about the benefits of therapy. He told me that he had lost his lover way back in 1992 after a 13-year relationship, as well as losing two brothers — all to AIDs. He was swimming in a pool of loss and despair, loneliness and depression. And he didn’t even realize it.

It wasn’t until he spoke with another friend who told him that perhaps he should see someone professionally. At first, he balked at the very idea that he needed to seek outside help. But he also realized that living alone in his house, his inner demons were speaking to him day in and day out. And this went on for years.

Do I need to seek therapy?

Once he realized that he was in dire need of help, he got it. And he began to cope with his losses. However, others do not realize they need help or they do, but feel they can’t afford it, which is understandable.

The Shame and Stigma of it all!

It is a shame that in this country, we do not have Universal Healthcare. It is also a shame that we do not recognize that mental illness is a MAJOR problem here in America. Just imagine instead of treating people with mental health issues as if they are criminals or freaks or scourges or outcasts, you treat them with kindness and compassion and understanding. Things would be vastly different.

And I might add there are a LOT of people walking around who think they are okay, but who could really benefit from therapy or simply talking to someone about what is really going on with them.

So, let’s see if we can take the stigma out of not only mental illness, but asking for professional help or seeking therapy, too.

Only Human

First of all, it is okay to NOT be okay. That’s right. I said it. Let’s face it, we are not – I repeat – we are NOT going to be 100% tiptop, superman/superwoman/super nonbinary all the freaking time!! Everything is not going to be okay and perfect every single day of our lives. If you do believe that, then you don’t reside on the same planet the rest of us do.

I am not at all saying wallow in it, but what I am saying is we are human. I don’t care what religion or belief system you hold, we are all still HUMAN!

Secondly, it is definitely okay to ask for help. But when should you?

Getting the help you need
  • When whatever you are facing or going through just becomes absolutely unbearable.
  • When you realize that your problems are affecting your life, your job, your work, your family, your activities, YOU.

Check out the link below that goes more in depth:

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/why-should-i-go-to-therapy-8-signs-its-time-to-see-a-therapist-0118197

I’ve Been There

Again, I am not a doctor. But I will tell you I have, myself, sought therapy for anger issues in the past, and I found it beneficial. I learned the root cause of some of my anger and how to effectively manage and deal with it. (I sense another blog post!!! LOL)

And yes, I even sought help for my intrusive thoughts and found it helpful, as well. I am even considering seeking help yet again.

The above friend I mentioned stated that he found it helpful just to talk to someone about what he was feeling. And sometimes that is all a person needs is to just talk to someone and have them listen.

Crisis mode

In the research that I have done, if you feel you are in severe crisis mode, i.e. you are contemplating suicide, it is best to contact a crisis or suicide hotline first before delving into therapy.

I recently learned that someone who was in extreme crisis, actually checked himself into a mental health facility for about a month. He said it helped him tremendously. Again, there is no shame in our game.

Now, before I go, if you feel that therapy is for you and you are not in immediate crisis, then click on the link below. And you can do the therapy sessions in the comfort of your own home!

And in the meantime, and as always, please be mentally well!!

AFFILIATE DISCLAIMER:  There are products on this page.  By clicking on the links, you will be redirected to that page at no cost to you.  However, I will receive compensation if you purchase something (which I hope you do 😊).

Sources: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/why-should-i-go-to-therapy-8-signs-its-time-to-see-a-therapist-0118197

Categories
mental health and well-being

The Lies of the Mind

DEREK’S DISCLAIMERI am not a medical professional, neither am I giving any medical or legal advice. If you are seeking help from a doctor or an attorney, please consult said professionals.  These are my personal thoughts and feelings on the subjects discussed, and my blog is my own personal experiences and journey with mental imbalance.  Thanking you in advance!

Welcome back to a fresh and new blog post from yours truly! I am trusting that all of you are well!

I would like to talk about lies your own mind can tell you. And how you end up believing those lies. But they are LIES! ALL LIES!! Remember that going in.

Good/Normal Thoughts

The brain and the mind are EXTREMELY complicated. As I am learning in my own research, the mind comes up with hundreds of thousands of different little thoughts a day. Some thoughts are just typical, normal thoughts:

  • “I need to go to the grocery store.”
  • “Gotta get my oil changed.”
  • “What am I having for dinner?”

And some thoughts are just good and fun:

  • “It would be so nice to be on a beach right now.”
  • “That person is most certainly very attractive.”
  • “Gosh, I love this music they’re playing.”

Bad thoughts

And then there are the bad thoughts.

  • “I could just punch so and so.”
  • “Gosh! He gets on my nerves!”
  • “What if my partner/husband/wife/significant other leaves me?”

The bad thoughts are the ones, of course, that can really get us down, and we ALL have them. But what makes it very tricky is when you cannot get rid of them. And there are the negative ones tied to our self-worth:

  • “I am not good enough.”
  • “I can’t do it.”
  • “Everyone is better than me.”
  • “I am stupid and dumb.”

The mind can conjure up all sorts of horrible things. I call these particular thoughts lies of the mind, because to me that is exactly what they are doing – telling your brain and your mind things that just aren’t true.

Intrusive Thoughts

And then there are my personal faves – the intrusive and/or recurring thoughts that will NOT go away, that are indeed bad thoughts. Most people can just let these thoughts go, no problem. We all have them. But others like me, for some reason cannot. My own experience has been that whenever something abhorrent or something I don’t like pops into my head, it gets stuck there. As I have mentioned previously, this is something that has actually plagued me my entire life, but it hasn’t been as bad as it is now. And I think perhaps the pandemic had something to do with it, because before I was fine. But now I feel like I struggle a bit more. Maybe it’s because of the fact that I am alone a lot more now, because whenever I am around people I am not as bothered with it. Let’s face it, when you are alone with your own mind with nothing or no one to act as a buffer, it can spell trouble. I want to go on the record for saying that certain intrusive thoughts can leave you feeling ashamed, disconnected from your own body, and quite alone. You feel like a freak, as I have. But I am NOT a freak, and neither are you if you suffer from this. It’s all lies!!!

Examples of intrusive and/or recurring thoughts, which by the way is a form of OCD – obsessive-compulsive disorder, are:

  • Unwanted thoughts of harming someone (or even believing you have hurt someone).
  • Unwanted thoughts of a sexual nature, i.e. such as sex with a relative. Or sexual thoughts of someone of the same-sex if you are heterosexual or thoughts of sex with someone of the opposite sex if you are homosexual. (By the way, these are NOT sexual fantasies!!! A fantasy is something you enjoy. These are not thoughts you enjoy. You consider them distasteful and awful.)
  • Unwanted thoughts of hurting your own child.

I have had several, but here is one that truly bothered me for a long time and even still pops up every now and then: The fear of going blind, which started with the fact that I have eye floaters (who doesn’t?). But then I looked them up online, and boy was that a mistake, as you can imagine. You know what they say, you play doctor and go online, you end up with that disease. Well, in reading about eye floaters, I read that these are normal. However, I also read that in rare cases if they get worse, it can lead to blindness because of a detachment of your retina. And as you can imagine, that’s all my brain saw: BLINDNESS!!

These thoughts are uncontrollable at times, and it does feel as if your mind has a mind of its own, as if there is a recording or another person in your head saying things or conjuring up images that you don’t want or would normally not think about it. It can be VERY stressful indeed.

Tips and Tricks for getting unstuck

BUT I have some tips and tricks I do to get unstuck. Maybe these will help some of you, too:

  • I “change the channel” in my brain. Much like changing the channel on your TV, I do the same with some of these thoughts that bug me. It is sometimes easier said than done, I must admit, but possible. They say that whenever you try to avoid certain thoughts, they appear even stronger. Yes. And no. You can actually distract yourself. For example, if I am sick and tired of seeing red elephants in my head, I “change the channel” to flamingoes. And sometimes I play a trick on my brain by trying NOT to think of the flamingoes and guess what? The flamingoes stick! Success! I’ve changed the channel.
  • Speaking of distracting yourself, do just that. One of the ways I distract my brain and mind is to READ!!! I LOVE reading, and if you have been keeping up with this blog, then you know that I have been reading the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew mystery stories all year long, which has provided me with such a great distraction from my own mind.
  • Exercise! Everybody’s favorite, just not mine LOL But I do exercise, and though I don’t find it as useful or fun as reading, I know that others find it great at getting their mind off things. Plus it is healthy.
  • Doing what I am doing now – writing! Writing is one of the best tools I use for distracting my mind from the crap that floats through it. The best type of writing for me is writing my web series, which pulls me into a totally different world as opposed to my mental imbalance. It is indeed very therapeutic.
  • Music!! Yasssssss!!! Music also pulls me into a different world, and I am sure it does the same for many of you. So, crank it up (especially the 70s and 80s music)!!!! 🙂
  • Speaking of music, play a musical instrument! I play several, my first and main one being the trumpet. Playing a musical instrument DEFINITELY keeps you distracted or rather keeps your mind on the music!
man in black jacket wearing black headphones
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Anyway, regardless of what garbage and “LIES” are going through your mind, remember to stop. Breathe. Smile and go on. Try the tips and tricks above. Tell me what yours are in the comment section below.

And, of course, if the thoughts become too difficult to manage, by all means seek professional help. There is no shame in our game. Please click on the banner below if you feel that you need extra help.

Take care, friends! Until the next time, be mentally well!

AFFILIATE DISCLAIMER:  There are products on this page.  By clicking on the links, you will be redirected to that page at no cost to you.  However, I will receive compensation if you purchase something (which I hope you do 😊).