PART 1 – THE GOOD PAST
DEREK’S DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional, neither am I giving any medical or legal advice. If you are seeking help from a doctor or an attorney, please consult said professionals. My blog is my own personal experiences and journey with mental imbalance. Thank you!
Greetings all!
Tonight I am going to delve into … THE PAST! Now, this is probably going to be a long post, because this is such a broad topic. So, there may be multiple parts to this.
I really do believe that the past definitely can influence your present, especially if you are constantly dwelling on it. It can affect your personal relationships, your attitudes, your job, your family, how you move and operate in the world, who you are as a person. And the list, of course, goes on and on. Needless to say, your past can shape who you are currently.
I will be completely honest and admit that I am ALWAYS dwelling on the past, whether it is my good past or my bad past. And yes, it has shaped and molded me into the person I have become. For example, and without going into too much detail, certain experiences from my past have caused me to be much more of a direct person. I am no longer afraid to say no or to question things, whereas in the past I was very afraid to speak up. However, because of negative outcomes from keeping my mouth shut, I realized that it was not serving me at all. So, it was much better for me to stand up for myself and “speak my mind,” so to speak. So, those negative experiences from the past most certainly shaped me today into speaking up when I feel that it is necessary.
But what happens when you get stuck in the “good” past? Now, let me give you a more specific example from “my past.” 🙂
Wayyyyy back in 1981, I was in the 9th grade. The way our school was set up, the 7th, 8th and 9th graders were all grouped together at the same school, and the 10th, 11th and 12th graders were at the high school. So, in my county in North Carolina – Anson County – that’s the way it was. The freshman 9th graders were not placed with the sophomores, juniors and seniors, the way it is done now.
Now, the most driving force and great source of joy and happiness for me that year was the BAND!!! This will have to later be a separate post in and of itself, because there is MUCH to highlight there. But I will just summarize and say that my band experiences that year were beyond AMAZING!!! We were the talk of Anson County and even beyond. Our marching band signature song was Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust,” and that entire year EVERYONE wanted to hear us play that song, even when we were no longer in marching season!
We did all of our normal concert performances – the Christmas and Spring concerts, etc. And we also did Contest, or it is probably referred to now as Festival, where you are competing against other groups. Well, we went and received a SUPERIOR, the HIGHEST ranking!!!
We didn’t stop there. We performed at the Country Club, a couple of times, which was a HUGE deal and honor!
But wait. The REALLY big, huge deal came in 1982 when our beloved band director, Mr. Kelly (May he Rest in Musical Peace) decided that we should go to the 1982 World’s Fair then in Knoxville, Tennessee. So, we raised the necessary money by selling BBQ plates, and off we went. Unfortunately, we didn’t place, and we were EXTREMELY upset and sad over it, but Mr. Kelly offered us the best pep talk ever and everything was fine after that.
However, all good things must come to an end. And thus, my 9th grade year was officially over following the World’s Fair since we went in June of 1982, the 10th through the 12th. I even remember the dates!!! LOL And afterward, I honestly felt depressed when I look back on it. It was over. It was gone. And no offense to my other beloved band director, Mr. Davis, from both my 8th grade and my sophomore through graduation from high school, it was just – well, lackluster. We didn’t do any of those things we did when we were in the 9th grade. Sure, we did the normal parades and concerts and we even went to the Shrine Bowl, and I did have a lot of fun, but it just wasn’t the same.
And even many, MANY years after that as an adult I would often look back fondly on those years with great nostalgia and longing. I was OBSESSED with being in that band. It was the GREATEST moment of my life!!! And all the other great moments following didn’t seem to be as great as my time in the 9th grade band.
So, to tie it all together, I dwelled on this past all. The. Time. It was a good past, but is it healthy to even dwell so much on something wonderful that happened in your life? To be honest, I don’t know. I suppose it can be unhealthy in a way, because you are not focused on the present, which is something I am learning more and more from the New Age gurus LOL
I think it is okay to revisit that good past from time to time, but not to dwell on it, because you ARE missing out on the potential good things happening in your life in the here and now. I spent sooooo much time focused on this wonderful part of my past, that I did lose sight of the other wonderful things around me. Fortunately, I went on to some other WONDERFUL band experiences and other experiences, overall, in my life! I still look back fondly (as I just did LOL), but it is no longer the focal point of my existence.
Well, this is getting long. So, we will have to continue this on FRIDAY!! Where I will then dive a bit more into the BAD or NEGATIVE past!!! Boo!! Feel free to comment below. And thanks for listening!
Stay mentally well,
Derek
