Possession Obsession

DEREK’S DISCLAIMER:  I am not a medical professional, neither am I giving any medical or legal advice. If you are seeking help from a doctor or an attorney, please consult said professionals.  These are my personal thoughts and feelings on the subjects discussed, and my blog is my own personal experiences and journey with mental imbalance.  Thanking you in advance!

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Hello, my fellow mental wellness friends!!

Back with another topic: Obsessions.

I must admit that I am totally guilty of this. I have been obsessed with all sorts of things throughout my life. Note the following:

• Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Mysteries.
• The Bionic Woman.
• Wonder Woman.
• Music – more specifcally Culture Club, Eurythmics, and Hall & Oates – hence the title of this particular post, which is one of their songs – “Possession Obsession.”
• Soap Operas.
• Food.
• Men.

So, what I am saying on top of all of my other neuroses, is I have an obsessive personality, apparently. The above list are fun obsessions, obsessions I most certainly do not mind and even truly love.

But what about when obsessions become troublesome and they are not fun? Or they get stuck in your mind to the point of being extremely bothersome?

We have all heard the term OCD – obsessive-compulsive disorder – many times before. And one could say that we are all a little OCD about certain things. But if it begins to interfere with your everyday life, then it becomes a problem.

OCD is when a person obsesses on something or cannot get their mind off of certain things and has the “compulsion” to do something over and over again, normally to combat the obsession. These thoughts (and compulsions) are often uncontrollable. The person suffering from the disorder cannot help it. When we think of OCD we think of people who are worried about germs and, therefore, feel a need to constantly wash their hands. Or the person who must check all locks and lights REPEATEDLY in their home before leaving.

So, breaking it down even further, the obsession is the thought part of OCD and the compulsion is the active doing part to try and neutralize or counteract that obsession. In other words, the person who has the thought that germs are everywhere will try and counteract or neutralize that thought by washing their hands repeatedly.

And when all of this gets out of hand, it can become downright horrible for the person who is going through it.

And just for the record, people with this condition do not want to have these thoughts and may even realize that these thoughts and even resulting behaviors or compulsions are ridiculous and don’t make any sense.

Different types of OCD

• The need to repeatedly check things, as mentioned above, such as light switches, the oven, door locks, etc.

• Fear of contamination. Again, this is the one a lot of us have heard of, where people feel the need to wash their hands repeatedly after touching doorknobs, handles, shaking hands with others, anything others in public would touch or handle, etc. Think the television character/show Monk.

• Everything must be in order. Having to have things in alignment or ordered in a certain way. For me it was my CDs. Ha! Funny now because I don’t listen to CDs anymore. My music is all on my phone! LOL

• Intrusive thoughts. Ahhhh my personal fave!! Thoughts that you just cannot get out of your mind. And no, they are not pleasant. As a matter of fact, they can be downright disturbing. Thoughts that are sexually explicit about someone you would never have sex with. (I mean, I would rather think of Christopher Meloni naked, but when thoughts of some old woman pops into your head instead – see? That’s what I’m talking about!) Or thoughts of hurting someone that you would never hurt. The types of troublesome recurring and intrusive thoughts are endless!

Derek’s Story

My OCD is mainly uncontrollable, bad thoughts. I don’t really have a compulsion to do anything to counteract what goes on in my mind, except sometimes I will think or even say NO! Or ENOUGH! or STOP! – as a way to neutralize my racing and/or intrusive thoughts. So, you can have the obsessions without the compulsions.

Believe me, if you suffer from this, you would know exactly what I am speaking of.

I have begun to realize that I have always had obsessive thoughts my entire life, even as a child. I remember obsessing on death and even thinking that I would not make it to the next grade in school when I was a little boy.

That later turned into obsessing over my height and thinking I was too short. So, I started stuffing socks in the soles of my shoes starting around 7th grade to make myself appear taller.

Later on it was an obsession with nuclear war, dying of AIDS, and a fear of losing my memory and even a fear of going blind. I felt as if my mind was out of control, like my mind had a mind of its own. And when I look back on all of this, it makes total sense to me that OCD was at the root of my problems.

But where does it come from? I don’t think anyone really knows. Perhaps it is stress. Or anxiety. I honestly believe mine stems from fear, fear of something bad happening. Or just generalized anxiety, which is ANOTHER topic to delve into. I was actually diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder a couple of years back, which also explains a lot about me. Generalized anxiety disorder or GAD is exactly how it sounds – you have a generalized or overall anxiety about pretty much everything. It is the feeling that something bad is going to happen.

And that is where the thoughts and the obsessions can begin, which can lead into the compulsions.

Sadly, there is no cure for OCD. BUT it can be managed through therapy and yes, medication. I am on paroxetine or Paxil. It does help somewhat, but I do a LOT of meditation and a great deal of just ignoring those thoughts that are troublesome. Believe me, it takes a great deal of mental strength to do it, but it can be done.

There is a great deal more about OCD that I cannot even begin to cover in this post. By all means check out the source material below for further information.

Well, that is it for today, my fellow ment binders. Hahahaha! As always, please be well and stay safe and mentally well!

Sources:

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