DEREK’S DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional, neither am I giving any medical or legal advice. If you are seeking help from a doctor or an attorney, please consult said professionals. These are my personal thoughts and feelings on the subjects discussed, and my blog is my own personal experiences and journey with mental imbalance. Thanking you in advance!
Welcome back for more fun in Bent Mindland!!! I am hoping you are all well!
So, when I say the word “gaslight” or “gaslighting,” what do you think of? Do you think of someone trying to drive you crazy? Do you think of the movie of the same name?
Or do you think of someone lighting someone or something on fire?? Well, if you guessed any of the above answers, you would be correct.
However, I am speaking of the type of gaslighting where someone makes you doubt your sanity. According to Webster’s Dictionary, gaslighting is “to attempt to make someone believe that he or she is going insane (as by subjecting that person to a series of experiences that have no rational explanation) or a term often used by mental health professionals, to describe manipulative behavior used to confuse people into thinking their reactions are so far off base that they’re crazy.”
And yes, the term gaslighting comes from the above 1940 movie of the same name, which is quite brilliant. In the movie, the husband (Anton Walbrook) is slowly but surely driving his wife (Diana Wynyard) insane. (And there is the 1944 remake starring Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman!) More trivia: Before either of the movies, it was a 1938 play written by British playwright Patrick Hamilton, entitled “Gas Light.”
Gaslighting, though, may not in all cases be intentional or as insidious as outlined in the movies or the play. However, it is still manipulative!!!! In my opinion, it is designed to make you believe you are less than or it is YOUR fault in certain situations and that the gaslighter takes NO RESPONSIBILITIES whatsoever for THEIR actions. I like to think of it as they think they are right and you are WRONG!
I also say that gaslighting will make you doubt more than just your sanity, but who you are.
Again, there are numerous ways to gaslight someone without intentionally trying to bring them to the brink of insanity. However, gaslighting is still a form of abuse. I should know. Examples:
- Making someone doubt they said something when they actually did.
- Discounting someone’s feelings.
- Accusing someone of being too dramatic or too sensitive.
- Trivializing how someone feels.
Just take a look at the chart below:
How many of you have been there? God knows I have. And as Blanche Devereaux would say, many, MANY times!!! Too many to count.
It started with my family. Yes, I have described them in previous posts. See below:
But it was also done to me by so-called friends and yes, even boyfriends.
Oh and DEFINITELY bosses and coworkers.
Here are some of the labels directed towards me. See the chart above AND below!!!
- Derek, you are SO dramatic.
- Derek, you are defensive.
- Derek, you are making things up.
- Derek, you’re a liar.
- Derek, I was only kidding.
- Derek, you imagined things differently than I did (said my abusers). It did not happen that way or it didn’t happen at all. You imagined it.
- Derek, you’re LOUD!
I am not a saint, and I would NEVER pretend to be. I have done and said things that would make Mother Theresa hang her head in shame. But I am not making up the things that have happened to me or that were said to me. And I am not trying to play a victim or get sympathy. That is the furthest thing from my mind. However, these things happened, and I am sure they have happened and/or are happening to some of you NOW! Don’t. Stand. For. It! Walk away if you can! Put a stop to it. Call them out on it!
In summation, LOVE who YOU are!! Know that you are not imagining things. And again, don’t stand from this type of abuse from ANYONE!!! Not from your job, work, bosses, coworkers, friends, lovers, or family!!! You are NOT imagining things!!
And please tell me your experiences in the comment section below.
And of course, be mentally well!!!
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Sources:
2 replies on “You Can Stop the Gaslighting Now, Because I Know That’s Exactly What You’re Doing!”
I do agree with all of the ideas you have presented in your post. They’re very convincing and will definitely work. Still, the posts are too short for beginners. Could you please extend them a bit from next time? Thanks for the post.
Okay thanks for the advice!