Hello, friends! I do hope your New Year is going well. And again, it has been a while since I have posted. But I am back! I promise, promise, PROMISE to post much more. I am still in the process of setting everything up so I can drive as much traffic to my blog as possible. This is part of the reason why I haven’t been posting as much as I did in the beginning. I am still studying how to put all of this together LOLOL
At any rate, let’s dive in.
So, as the title suggests I have had a few mini WTF moments, mostly with dreams. As I have stated in earlier blog posts, I would also be covering dreams. And boy do I have them. But first, let me cover the mini meltdown.
As anyone who is suffering from some form of mental un-wellness knows, it can be a daily struggle to just simply cope. Life does NOT make it easy by any stretch of the imagination. So, just yesterday I thought I was doing well. I said my affirmations (which I will cover in a later blog post). And one of the things I tell myself daily is to NOT LET THINGS, SITUATIONS OR PEOPLE UPSET ME. Well, yesterday, they did. LOL
I had a really, really, REALLY long workday, which is actually good, because I need the money, honey! LOLOLOL But I also realized that a certain component of my job bugged me, which was constant talking coming from a person in our group. This person is normally not part of my job. And I think that is what was irritating me. For a particular component of my job – and I am sorry, but I will not disclose what I do at this time for privacy reasons – I basically just sit back and observe and give instructions from time to time. Easy. And I LOVE my job!!!! BUT when you have an “interloper” come in and is trying to give instructions, as well, it can be a bit disjointed.
Well, when you add that on top of the fact that I absolutely ABHOR my living situation, PHEW! I am living with a longtime “friend,” who will NOT be a friend once we part, which hopefully will be in June. No. There is no hopefully about it. I am done. Without getting into all of the particulars, I moved in with this person back in late June of 2019. His habits are a bit strange, to say the least. I realize I have my idiosyncrasies. We all do. But I am also willing to compromise. This clown I live with is not. And after telling myself repeatedly not to let him bother me yesterday, he did. And he really didn’t even do anything. Let me explain further. You see, since the pandemic, he has been unemployed. For. Nearly. A. Year. I am the one who has always worked from home (and I still do thankfully), and his being here all the time greatly disturbs my peace. It really does. I have allowed him to upset me to the point of ME yelling and screaming at HIM. And I honestly don’t like that about myself. Something I am working on trying to change.
But yesterday, it got to me for some reason. So, hence the mini meltdown. However, I did not yell and scream. I did not throw things. I kept it to myself. Well, actually, a VERY good friend called me, and I vented to him. He, too, is going through a similar situation with his roommate. Well, I should say he is going through certain roommate problems. And I must say, I am EXTREMELY grateful that I am not going through what he is going through: The boyfriend is over ALL THE TIME problem. Ugh! I haven’t had to deal with that since college. (And we all know how long ago that was for me!!!) Ha!
So, at this point I am actually going to pat myself on the back for maintaining control and only venting to my good friend, who was – and has been – gracious enough to listen to me.
But coupling everything I have said thus far, I must include my intrusive thoughts. That didn’t help. So, what did I do? I pigged out and had a couple of glasses of wine. But I am still giving myself that pat on the back, because I kept it internal – for the most part, save telling my friend. I did not go off on my roommate, for example. Hey, progress, not perfection.
Now, onto the dreams. Needless to say, I have been having the longest and the strangest dreams. There was one dream in particular where it literally was like a miniseries. The ones last night had people trying to kill me!! Oh and there was the one last week where I dreamt my father was trying to kill me.
Before I go any further, I am going to say that I feel that dreams are a great insight into our mental health. So, what does that say about me if I am dreaming that people, particularly my own father, are trying to kill me???
So, let me split this post up and do another one on just the dreams alone. So, stay tuned …
