Hi there! Welcome back! The title mentions “weaponized incompetence,” and I know a lot of you are asking what the heck is that. Well…
Weaponized incompetence was first phrased by Jared Sandberg in a 2007 Wall Street Journal article in which he discussed how employees will feign ineptitude in order to appear helpless and, therefore, needing help from other coworkers to, in essence, do their work or perform their tasks for them.
However, it isn’t just in the workplace, but it can appear in social and even romantic relationships, as well.
And between husbands and wives, where one partner refuses to take responsibility for household duties and will either appear to be unable to carry out those duties or may simply refuse to do them for whatever reason.
So, basically, weaponized incompetence can also be seen as a form of manipulation and that it can indeed be done on purpose, for whatever reason.
NOTE: I THINK WE’VE ALL DONE IT AT SOME POINT IN TIME IN OUR LIVES!
I know I’ve done it in the workplace when there was something I didn’t really want to do. Not gonna lie. And I’m pretty sure I’ve done it in my personal life. However, I am really glad that this type of behaviour has been brought to my attention.
Anyway, a friend and coworker turned me onto the phrase last year when describing how my father will not lift a finger to help my mother around the house. He relies on her to do all of the cooking AND the cleaning.
This coworker elaborated that perhaps my father was intentionally getting out of helping around the house, therefore, using weaponized incompetence or WI, as I shall call it going forward.
Here is where I believe my father’s WI originated. The following is the story as told by my mother:
Many years ago, and I think I was in college when this happened, my grandfather Frank told my father to not ever help my mother with household duties. Why he said that I don’t know. But my father, to this day, does NOT help my mother with any domestic chores. Oh sure, he will drive her to work and to the grocery store, etc.
But he will not help cook (she says she doesn’t want him to do that anyway, because she says he’s nasty 😂).
He will not help clean.
He will not help pay for groceries.
He will pay half on their bills, but he will not pay for new appliances or furniture or anything like that. As I have stated before, he is such a reprehensible person.
Now, he has to use a cane. And so it is almost as if he is using WI to feign being incapable of doing anything, especially now that he has that cane.
So, husbands using WI to get out of performing household duties really isn’t a new thing. I mean, it sounds familiar where the man doesn’t lift a finger around the house, and all of those menial tasks are, therefore, delegated to the woman.
I can only imagine the hostility that can emerge as a result of this.
I realize there are people who are the “you’re not doing it right. Then I may as well do it” type. We all know those types. They feel that they can perform the job better or if it’s not done THEIR way, then they will just do it themselves. And the WI offender may certainly use this to their advantage.
However, does this sort of behaviour do anyone any good?
And again, the offender may just be doing the task poorly on purpose!
Honestly, this sounds like the work of children. Wouldn’t a child pretend to not be able to do something simply to get out of doing it? Just a thought.
Now my two cents on the matter. For the sake of everyone’s mental health who have fallen prey to this, kick that lazy-ass husband out!!
Fire that “incompetent” coworker, because if you are not pulling your weight, then what good are you to the company?
This all may sound extreme. So, try a different approach: The next time that coworker pulls this bullshit, then take the time to show them how to do said task. And then from that point on, they are on their own.
As far as the lazy husband (or wife) – fine. Clean YOUR space and cook YOUR OWN meals, and allow that lazy SOB to fend for themselves!
Going back to my mother, she does REFUSE to do my father’s laundry! 😂😂😂
Mentally, WI helps no one. I think in the end that WI can cause bitterness, resentment, guilt, and lots and lots of conflict, whether the WI is done on purpose or not. And perhaps there could be self-esteem issues if the WI is not done on purpose and the offender feels that someone is constantly doing something for them because they are unable to do it themselves.
Before you go, please visit my Derek Store. You never know what you might find. 😉
Please return next week when the discussion will be on bragging, especially with regard to social media. You will not want to miss.
So, until then please be safe and, as always, mentally well!
DEREK’S DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional, neither am I giving any medical or legal advice. If you are seeking help from a doctor or an attorney, please consult said professionals. These are my personal thoughts and feelings on the subjects discussed, and my blog is my own personal experiences and journey with mental imbalance. Thanking you in advance!
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