Hello, all of my dear friends! I do hope your Spring is coming along well!
As the title says, I would like to discuss why we allow other people’s rude and bad behaviour to continue.
I think part of the reason why we allow it to go on could be due to several reasons:
- Fear. We are afraid of starting an argument or even worse – the confrontation leading to violence.
- We don’t believe the offender will ever change – and perhaps you are correct in that assertion.
- We are told and conditioned “that that is the way they are,” which goes along with perhaps they will not change.
- Not wanting to make waves and hold these people accountable, which goes back to the fear of speaking up.
And possibly a whole host of other reasons why.
Regardless of the reasons, never, EVER blame yourself and think it is something you did or said or even didn’t do or say!!!
Before we go any further, I am going to include this very helpful video about not making excuses for other people’s rude and/or bad behaviour. Please click below!
And what is the old saying – “you are only teaching someone how to treat you.”
Oh and for the record, rudeness doesn’t have to be something that is tempered with anger or meanness. It can even be the quiet and little, subtle jabs that can sting just as badly and linger the longest.
Which brings me to insightful video number 2, about the sneaky ways people can disrespect you. Please watch!
Now, I have written a great deal of posts about people – my darling little Earth Things – for quite some time now. I suppose I’m doing it to try and understand their behaviour. Because as someone once said to me, “human beings are messy.” And that is certainly an understatement. Messy and complicated and just downright meh.
And of course, we have all run into people who are just downright rude and toxic, whether they are strangers or friends or even members in your own family.
And that is exactly where I’ll tell my own personal story – about my own family.
I am not going to say who it is, for once, but I will say that it is a rather close family member, whom I shall call Ted. Ted is rather disagreeable and can be downright mean. I have witnessed this behaviour all my life; however, it seems Ted has gotten worse.
And Ted has directed this negative energy in my direction more times than I can either count or remember.
Ted is also a full-blown – say it with me folks: NARCISSIST!!
Other family members who live with this demon have tried in the past to set boundaries and limits, with SOME success. However, Ted continues to cross those boundaries and say and even commit such heinous atrocities.
The only person who can truly keep Ted in check, as they say, is a person whom shall be referred to as Marion. Marion sets the law down with Ted, and Ted actually backs down.
As stated above, I have engaged in heated battles with Ted in the past, but it, of course, has done no good. I was told by other family members, on more than one occasion, to just not say anything where Ted is concerned. And I have learned to do just that. Keep my mouth shut. But is that doing any good? I mean, sure it keeps the peace. But is that good for everyone else’s mental health in the long run?
I can tell you that the other family members who live with Ted go on trips WITHOUT him, which I don’t blame them. They now only travel together when necessary and for family emergencies and special occasions.
I don’t even want to be around this person, because they are so toxic.
When it comes to phone calls, I just don’t call. I will call other members of the family, but not him. In the past, the phone calls would just erupt into fierce arguments.
And speaking of rudeness and toxicity, I am reminded of a post I did a couple of weeks back pertaining to rude coworkers. Please click on the link below for that post:
There should absolutely be no fear in dealing with these individuals. And I know a great many of you keep silent, myself included. But again, I ask the question is that doing anyone any good? Is that good for our overall mental health?
And as several of my posts this year, and in the past, have been stating, it is okay to steer clear of these individuals. Detach from them, my favorite new word to use in situations like what I am describing.
This isn’t a “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em” sort of thing. But quite the opposite. “If you can’t beat ’em, delete ’em!!”
It may be easier said than done, particularly when it comes to family. But I am a firm believer in protecting your mental wellbeing at all costs, even if that means excluding certain family members.
And remember, if you feel that you cannot cope with toxic people and their extremely rude and impertinent behaviour, be it family or friends, then online therapy may be the way to go. You can do this in the comfort of your own home without having to get in traffic to drive to an office. Check it out by clicking on the link below:
Now, if online therapy isn’t for you and the cost is too high, then a much simpler route is trying CBD/THC-infused gummies. Please click on the banner below for Five CBD+.
DEREK’S DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional, neither am I giving any medical or legal advice. If you are seeking help from a doctor or an attorney, please consult said professionals. These are my personal thoughts and feelings on the subjects discussed, and my blog is my own personal experiences and journey with mental imbalance. Thanking you in advance!
I do not own the copyright to any songs or videos listed here.
AFFILIATE DISCLAIMER: There are products on this page. By clicking on the links, you will be redirected to that page at no cost to you. However, I will receive compensation if you purchase something (which I hope you do 😊).
PHOTO ATTRIBUTION: Jonathan Borba
