Hello all, and welcome back!
Today we are talking about how a good job can actually promote good and sound mental health. And of course, I have got to go there and talk about how a bad one can do the exact opposite. I should know. I’ve been there, and I’m sure you have, too.
You have in mind the perfect job for you. You research and research AND RESEARCH until you’ve found said job. You submit your application/resume, etc. and cross your fingers and hope and pray you land it. You are surprised when you actually either get a call or an email saying they wish to interview you. You are beyond ecstatic. You agree to an interview date, have the interview, and everything seems to go well.
Perhaps you still have to wait a bit to hear back or maybe you land the job on the spot during the interview. Either way, CONGRATULATIONS! You got the job!
You are so nervous when you start. But you are so happy to be there. Maybe you show up on your first day a little early. After all, you don’t want to take any chances of being late. Anyway, you meet your new boss or bosses and new team. Everyone seems friendly and nice. And after a few weeks, it turns out they really are.
You enjoy the work, the friendship and camaraderie of your team. However, you realize that everything isn’t perfect on the job. Maybe there is an aspect you don’t particularly care for. After all every job, even the good ones, has a part that you may not care for, but still don’t mind doing. However, you realize you STILL enjoy the job overall. And the people.
This continues until the next thing you know a year or two has gone by, and you are in heaven! And why? Because of the overall positivity of the workplace, which is not faux positivity. The overall atmosphere is very warm and welcoming, with no drama. The morale is VERY high! There is no gossiping. Okay, perhaps a little fun gossip, which I think is normal in any workplace. But it isn’t the type of gossip that is malicious or hateful.
You even go out to lunch with your coworkers. You all have such fun together. Heck, even the boss goes, because the boss is so much fun to be around. And you realize they are just a regular person like you. The boss has your back, and so do your coworkers.
Perhaps there is even a little socializing outside of work.
There are holiday parties and fun little gatherings. Everyone just clicks very well.
You find that you actually have FUN at work, while doing your job.
And everyone stays in THEIR LANE. No one, other than your boss, tries to BE your boss.
Your performance reviews are always EXCELLENT! And get this: The company wants to know how THEY are doing! That’s right. They ask you to evaluate THEM!
Your ideas are accepted or at the very least, considered without mockery.
You LOVE to go to work! Or at the very least you don’t mind. And this continues. Oh and your boss and coworkers actually care about you as a person, as a human being. They value your input and your time there. This is actually how it is. You have never been happier in your life. And if you are waiting for the buts, there are none!
You sleep well at night. Your other relationships even get a boost. You WANT to be at work.
But what does all of this do for your mental wellbeing?
- You have a boost in self-confidence.
- Great self-esteem and self worth.
- Feelings of belongingness.
- A feeling that you are doing and achieving something good.
- You are contributing to something.
- Overall, you feel good about yourself.
- You are simply happy.
Now. Let’s re-run the first part of this post from the top. All the way up to the part where you land the job, and it is your first day. But with some slight differences. Tee hee.
Everything starts off fine on your new job. The people seem friendly enough, and your boss does, too.
But slowly over time, you begin to see little, subtle shifts. For example, maybe your boss seems to be absent from work. Well. A lot. You also notice a shift in your duties, as in you are now getting extra duties normally relegated to your boss, but you are not getting their pay or at least anything extra.
Those nice workplace friends? Well, they are starting to show their TRUE colors. One turns out to be a bully, who wants his way at every turn. He says mean-spirited and malicious things, even during team meetings. And it turns out there are several coworkers who are afraid of him, including the boss; therefore, they side with him, thereby displaying their true loyalty.
The gossip in this place is off the chain! People are gossiping about each other. They gossip about the boss. And they are even gossiping about you.
Your ideas are shot down and you are humiliated and questioned over them, like you are being interrogated.
Arguments begin to break out, and constantly while at work. Mostly, you are a witness to it, but sometimes you are also involved. And nine times out of 10, it involves the workplace bully.
It gets so bad that maybe there are meetings with HR to act as mediator, but even that doesn’t help or solve the problem. It descends into pure hell to the point that you now HATE to go to work! Morale is VERY low!! The atmosphere is EXTREMELY negative and highly TOXIC!!
And suddenly people are saying to YOU that “you act like you don’t want to be here.” Excuse me, but neither do they! Pot? Kettle? And why would you want to be at such a horrible place surrounded by horrible, disagreeable people?
You come home every day completely and totally drained and tired. You wake up in the morning still tired from the previous day. You DREAD going to work. Your drive to work is a nightmare, because of your constant thinking and overthinking about how you have to deal with your toxic coworkers. And simply how you are going to get through another day.
You are in the middle of a VERY toxic workplace.
Your sleep suffers.
Your overall relationships with others begin to suffer, because you are now CONSTANTLY talking about how much you HATE your job!
Instead of the positive feelings from the above list, you instead feel:
- A tremendous drop in self-confidence.
- Low self-esteem and self worth.
- Feelings of not belonging.
- A feeling that you are not doing anything worthwhile and achieving nothing of importance.
- You are not contributing to anything, because your ideas aren’t appreciated or taken into consideration anyway.
- Overall, you feel bad about yourself.
- You are simply unhappy. Very unhappy.
It goes without saying that I have had my fair share of shitty jobs. I encountered basically every negative scenario described above, and some of those assholes had THE NERVE to tell me that I acted like I didn’t want to be there. And I didn’t. Who would want to be surrounded by such hateful c****, er I mean such negative drama? 😂🤣.
So, my mental health deteriorated to the point that yes, I began acting out. I became as rude as some of my coworkers. I don’t know if my self-esteem plummeted or not, but my anger sure rose to new heights, again, to the point that I displayed my disdain for my workplace. I was a mega bitch. And even when I was written up, I was STILL a mega bitch. I know for sure one of my alters took over, the calm yet icy one. LOLOL
In the end, do you really wish to sacrifice your sound mental health for a paycheck? I have finally learned that I do not. I will simply walk out. After all, now I have multiple jobs to choose from! 🤣
Remember, there is help for you if you are encountering the negative job and/or things you can do. I know it is easier said than done to quit and look for another job.
However, this is what I say if you do decide to stay. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!
Set clear boundaries with your coworkers and even your boss, if necessary.
Tell your rude coworkers that you will, in no uncertain terms, be disrespected by them EVER!
One thing I wish I had told some of my rude coworkers, especially here in Atlanta, that “I am NOT one of your Atlanta, hoodrat, ghetto friends. Therefore, you will NOT speak to me as such!” BOOM!!
When you leave work, leave it THERE! Do not take it home with you.
Do not accept extra duties without extra pay!
Treat yourself and OFTEN!! Perhaps a massage, pedicure, good music, exercise, and definitely good food! 😊
I know to some of you, these suggestions are no brainers. But to others, they really don’t know what to do. But now you do.
Oh and if you already have that dream job with the dream team, DON’T LEAVE!!! 🤣😂
In summation, a good job that cares, takes pride in their employees. They value them and very much want them there. I really wish I had learned the difference early on.
Now, before you leave, please visit the Derek Store. You never know what you might find. 😁😉
That is it for now. But by all means, please come back next week when the topic shall be “did I inherit my anxiety from my grandmother?” Oooooo! It’s gonna be a good one! So, stay tuned. And until then, please stay safe and mentally well!
DEREK’S DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional, neither am I giving any medical or legal advice. If you are seeking help from a doctor or an attorney, please consult said professionals. These are my personal thoughts and feelings on the subjects discussed, and my blog is my own personal experiences and journey with mental imbalance. Thanking you in advance!
I do not own the copyright to any songs or videos listed here.
AFFILIATE DISCLAIMER: There are products on this page. By clicking on the links, you will be redirected to that page at no cost to you. However, I will receive compensation if you purchase something (which I hope you do 😊).
